I haven't really nourished this blog with posts. Perhaps this blog, which is dedicated to romance and love, and its absence of attention somewhat resonates with my most previous relationship and how I treated it.
Anyways. Moving on.
Riding my bike allows me to visit many thoughts. I have transformed these into my "Morning Bike Thoughts and Things," or MBT&Ts, that I post on my Facebook account and every once in a while a long enough thought deserves a post/mind ramble.
Reborn into the dating world I have been thinking a lot about attractive qualities in men. Today's bike thoughts were sparked not by a male that attracted me, but simply by a kind man's chivalry as I passed by on my bike. "How incredibly friendly," I thought. And boom! began my next 30-1 hour train of thoughts. So here is a list of qualities I find attractive in the opposite sex.
1.) He is confident in himself. So much that he doesn't spend his time with "something to prove" to others but rather being gentle and kind.
2.) He treats others with respect. Instead of wasting time judging a stranger, he seeks some way to interact with that person. A connection of sorts. He isn't extroverted, just treats others with sincerity.
3.) Patience. This I feel runs parallel with confidence. Patience in life, in his work, with others and with his partner (me).
4.) He takes time to learn my language, especially in love. He doesn't have expectations that I should assume what he means by his actions or absence of words "because I know him." Rather he figures out the things that make me feel safe, comfortable, loved, appreciated and tries to practice them. (And I would do the same for him)
5.) Can handle being uncomfortable for a little while and faces it with optimism. I love to travel, but I don't like to travel in comfort. Life won't crumble if you're away from a cozy bed for a few days.
6.) No guessing games. He makes it clear how he feels and his honest with his feelings. No waivering, no back-and-forths.
7.) He almost knows me better than myself. This takes a lot of time. But eventually he is attuned to my reactions and can predict when something is wrong even before I know it, and gives the appropriate space or support. This is where I need to work on some things. Often I retract so much that I am afraid or embarrassed when something irks me. It's a feminine complex that I am trying to learn to accept.
8.) Chivalry. No matter how modern of a woman you are, an act of chivalry melts even the tiniest bit of your heart. He does not disrespect your equality as a "lady" but rather does nice things for you because he is a nice guy and hey, he likes you. This does not die with the passing of time.
9.) And of the topmost importance: A connected, romantic attraction that is equally shared. I had an incredibly poetic and beautiful way of wording this earlier today, and of course I lost it. Basically, a person can have all of the things that make him/her attractive to you but if there is no connection then you cannot force it. The intangible essence of a person that you cannot ignore. The core, that remains unchanged even as they do. We are not perfect, and many people gain positive qualities with experience and age. But when someone's nature is good, you can learn to trust them.
And there are many, many more but these were some that came to thought first. In a recent episode of "Bones," Brennan proclaimed that her relationship with Booth was symbiotic in nature. He didn't get it. Then she went on further to explain that she was intertwined with him, he nourished her, gave her a home, helped her to thrive, and to kill their relationship would be an act that may as well kill her. I also thought of some other parallels with symbiotic relationships in the natural world and human relationships with our others...but...it gets too poetic.
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